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******************************************************************** ******************************************************************** *** *** *** *** *** NutWorks *** *** ---------- *** *** The Inter-Net Virtual Magazine Which States *** *** That Reality Is For People *** *** Who Can't Handle Drugs. *** *** *** *** December, 1985. Issue008, (Volume II, Number 4). *** *** *** ******************************************************************** ******************************************************************** From the Bridge =============== Captains Log: Stardate 850212 Commander Spock Reporting. * * * * * ** ** ** ** * * * * * / \ / \ Seasons *-- --* Happy \ / / \ / \ Greetings *-- --* New / \ / \ / \ and *-- --* Year / \ / \ / \ / \ *-------------------------* | | | | ------- From The NutWorks Staff ------------------------------------------------------------------------ NutWorks News ============= 1) The NutWorks Staff hopes everyone had a great Thanksgiving weekend and also hopes that everyone is not still suffering from turkeyitis. Note: Turkeyitis is a disease most common around Thanksgiving time where one makes a large turkey for company and winds up eating the leftovers for the next several days (in really bad cases weeks) afterward. 2) (Outdated material deleted.) ------------------------------------------------------------------------ A Day Off ========= So, you want the day off ??? Let's take a moment to look at what you are asking for. 1 There are 365 days available for work. 2 There are 52 weeks per year of which you already have 2 days off each weekend, leaving 261 days left available for work. 3 Since you spend 16 hours each day away from work that accounts for 170 days. There are 91 left available for work. 4 You spend 30 minutes each day on breaks that accounts for 23 days a year, leaving 68 days available for work. 5 You spend 1 hour a day at lunch, that that accounts for another 46 days per year leaving 22 days available for work. 6 You spend 2 days per year on sick leave, leaving 20 days available for work. 7 You take 9 holidays per year, leaving 11 days available for work. 8 You take 10 days vacation each year, leaving 1 day left available for work. --- NO WAY --- Are you going to take THAT day off. Let's take a moment to look at what you are asking for... ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Hi there! With Christmas about to sneak upon us, I though that this article may be of interest to us NUTWORKS readers. This was originally published in the 12/19/83 issue of COMPUTERWORLD and is written by Richard Carter of Stone & Webster in Boston, MASS. (Contributed by KHAAV @ ASUACAD) 'Twas the week before Christmas He was not very tall And all thru Tech. Supp. And more chubby than thin; Not a phone bell was ringing, His nose matched his clothes Not a system was up And his face wore a grin. My keyboard was silent He set right to work In a 'NOT POLLING' state; Knowing just what to do I had a blank screen And he didn't stop once On my 3278. Until he was through. The manuals were sitting He pulled from the units Straight up on the shelves The strangest of things, In hope they'd be stolen From four calling birds By demented, old elves. To five golden rings. And I in my office, He cast out the items, My face in my hand, Piece after piece, Had just blown the system And one of us fainted With an 'SPQ COMMAND.' When he pulled out six geese. The users were roaming He said not a word. Outside near their bins, Except for some griping Gazing thru windows 'Cause he had to extract At the system within. Seven pipers piping. They saw thru the glass He gave out a groan What a programmer dreads: And removed his black gloves, The printers were ripping Then reached right inside Their output to shreds. And removed two squashed doves. The console was blurred Debris filled the room By vague moving shapes Right up to the doors While tape drives digested 'Till he slammed shut the units Some Master-Files tapes. And said "It's all yours!" Operations was frantic We looked at each other And Systems was screaming: And said, "What the hell?" "Our CE's at lunch, Then pushed the blue button (Or off somewhere dreaming)." That said "IPL." The management came We heard a few clicks, And learned of our fate A groan and a glupp, Once again caught And wouldn't you know, In a Downtime Stalemate. The damn thing came up. "What can we do?" The FE just stood there One boss moaned in stress. with a smile on his face. "I wish we had someone As fix-it men go, To fix up this mess." This guy was an ace. Then all of a sudden He packed up his tools From outside the door And mounted his sleigh, We heard a great crash Stuck his thumb to his nose And dived for the floor. And went on his way. And then to our eyes We watched as he flew Appeared a great sled Off into the night And inside, an FE Until in the dark (Who was dressed in all red). He vanished from sight. He was covered with ink Yet we heard him exclaim From his head to his toe And it was sort of dim, And commented loudly "MERRY CHRISTMAS TO ALL, "I wish it were snow." But don't call again." ------------------------------------------------------------------------ BABBAGE --- the language of the future ====================================== Copied from Rensselaer Polytechnic Institute by Tim McDonough (NU099138@NDSUVM1.BITNET) There are few things in this business that are more fun than designing a new computer language, and the very latest is ADA - the Department of Defense's new supertoy. ADA, as you know, has been designed to replace outmoded and obsolete languages such as COBOL and fortran. The problem is that this cycle takes 20 to 30 years and won't start until we're really convinced present languages aren't any good. We can short-circuit this process by starting on ADA's replacement right now. Then, by the time we decide ada is obsolete, its replacement will be ready. The new generation of language designers has taken to naming its brian children after real people rather than resorting to the usual acronyms. Pascal is named after the first person to build a calculating machine and ADA is named after the first computer programmer. As our namesake, we chose charles babbage, who died in poverty while trying to finish building the first computer. The new language is thus named after the first systems designer to go over budget and behind schedule. Babbage is based on language elements that were discovered after the design of ADA was completed. For instance, C.A.R. Hoare, in his 1980 ACM Turing Award lecture, told of two ways of constructing a software design: "One way is to make it so simple that there are obviously no deficiencies and the other way is to make it so complicated that there are no obvious deficiencies." The designers of Babbage have chosen a third alternative - a language that has only obvious deficiencies. Babbage programs are so unreliable that maintenace can begin before system integration is completed. This guarantees a steady increase in the debug job marketplace. Like Pascal, ADA uses "strong typing" to avoid errors caused by mixing data types. The designers of Babbage advocated "good typing" to avoid errors caused by misspelling the words in your program. Later versions of Babbage will also allow "touch typing", which will fill a long-felt need. A hotly contested issue among language designers is the method for passing parameters to subfunctions. Some advocate "call by name", others prefer "call by value". Babbage uses a new method "call by telephone". This is especially effective for long-distance parameter passing. ADA stresses the concept of software portability. Babbage encourage hardware portability. After all, what good is a computer if you can't take it with you? It's a good sign if your language is sponsored by the government. COBOL had government backing, and ADA is being funded by the department of defense. After much negotiation, The department of sanitation has agreed to sponsor Babbage. No subsets of ADA are allowed. Babbage is just the opposite. None of Babbage is defined except its extensibility - each user must define his own version. To end the debate of large languages versus small, Babbage allows each user to make the language any size he wants. Babbage is the ideal language for the "ME" generation. The examples that follow will give some idea of what Babbage looks like. Structured languages banned GOTOs and the multiway conditional branches by replacing them with the simpiler If-Then-Else structure. Babbage has a number of new conditional statements that act like termites in the structures of your program: What If - Used in simulation languages. Branches before evaluating test conditions. Or Else - Conditonal threat, as in: "Add these two numbers or else!" Why Not? - Executes the code that follows in a devil-may-care fashion. Who Else? - Used for polling during I/O operations. Elsewhere - This is where your program really is when you think it's here. Going Going Gone - For writing unstructured programs. Takes a random branch to another part of your program. Does the work of 10 GOTOs. For years, programming languages have used "FOR", "DO UNTIL"," DO WHILE", etc. to mean "LOOP". Continuing with this trend, Babbage offers the following loop statements: Don't Do While Not - This loop is not executed if the test condition is not false (or if it's Friday afternoon). Didn't Do - The loop executes onces and hides all traces. Can't Do - The loop is pooped. Won't Do - The CPU halts because it doesn't like the code inside the loop. Execution can be resumed by typing "MAY I" at the console. Might Do - Depends on how the cpu is feeling. executed if the cpu is "UP", not executed if the CPU is "DOWN" or if its feelings have been hurt. Do Unto Others - Used to write the main loop for timesharing systems so that they will antagonize the users in a uniform manner. Do-Wah - Used to write timing loop for computer-generated music (rag timing). Every self-respecting structured language has a case statement to implement multiway brancing. Algol offers an indexed case statement and Pascal has a labeled case statement. Not much of a choice. Babbage offers a variety of case statements: The Just-In-Case statement - For handling afterthoughts and fudge factors. Allows you to multiply by zero to correct for accidentally dividing by zero. The Brief Case statement - To encourage portable software. The Open-And-Shut case statement - No proof of correctness is necessary with this one. The In-Any case statement - This one always works. The Hopeless case statement - This one never works. The Basket case statement - A really hopeless case. The Babbage Language Design Group is continuously evaluating new features that will keep its users from reaching any level of effectiveness. For instance, Babbage's designers are now consider- ing the almost equals sign, used for comparing two floating point numbers. This new feature "Takes the worry out of being close". No language, no matter how bad, can stand on its own. We need a really state-of-the-art operating system to support Babbage. After trying several commercial systems, we decided to write a "virtual" operating system. Everybody has a virtual memory operating system so we decided to try something a little different. our new operating system is called the Virtual Time Operating System (VTOS). While virtual memory systems make the computer's memory the virtual resource, VTOS does the same thing with CPU processing time. The result is that the computer can run an unlimited number of jobs at the same time. Like the virtual memory system, which actually keeps part of the memory on disk, VTOS has to play tricks to achieve its goals. Although all of your jobs seem to be running right now, some of them are actually running next week. As you can see, Babbage is still in its infancy. The babbage language design group seeking suggestions for this powerful new language and as the sole member of this group (all applications for membership will be accepted), I call on the data processing community for help in making this dream a reality. ------------------------------------------------------------------------ "Real Programmers Don't Use PASCAL" =================================== PART II THE REAL PROGRAMMER AT WORK --------------------------- Where does the typical Real Programmer work? What kind of programs are worthy of the efforts of so talented an individual? You can be sure that no Real Programmer would be caught dead writing accounts-receivable programs in COBOL, or sorting mailing lists for People magazine. A Real Programmer wants tasks of earth shaking importance (literally!). * Real Programmers work for Los Alamos National Laboratory, writing atomic bomb simulations to run on Cray I supercomputers. * Real Programmers work for the National Security Agency, decoding Russian transmissions. * It was largely due to the efforts of thousands of Real Programmers working for NASA that our boys got to the moon and back before the Russkies. * Real Programmers are at work for Boeing designing the operating systems for cruise missiles. Some of the most awesome Real Programmers of all work at the Jet Propulsion Laboratory in California. Many of them know the entire operating system of the Pioneer and Voyager spacecraft by heart. With a combination of large ground-based FORTRAN programs and small spacecraft-based assembly language programs, they are able to do incredible feats of navigation and improvisation -- hitting ten-kilometer wide windows at Saturn after six years in space, repairing or bypassing damaged sensor platforms, radios, and batteries. Allegedly, one Real Programmer managed to tuck a pattern-matching program into a few hundred bytes of unused memory in a Voyager spacecraft that searched for, located, and photographed a new moon of Jupiter. The current plan for the Galileo spacecraft is to use a gravity assist trajectory past Mars on the way to Jupiter. This trajectory passes within 80 +/-3 kilometers of the surface of Mars. Nobody is going to trust a PASCAL program (or a PASCAL programmer) for navigation to these tolerances. As you can tell, many of the world's Real Programmers work for the U.S. Government -- mainly the Defense Department. This is as it should be. Recently, however, a black cloud has formed on the Real Programmer horizon. It seems that some highly placed Quiche Eaters at the Defense Department decided that all Defense programs should be written in some grand unified language called "ADA" ((C), DoD). For a while, it seemed that ADA was destined to become a language that went against all the precepts of Real Programming -- a language with structure, a language with data types, strong typing, and semicolons. In short, a language designed to cripple the creativity of the typical Real Programmer. Fortunately, the language adopted by DoD has enough interesting features to make it approachable -- it's incredibly complex, and includes methods for messing with the operating system and rearranging memory, and Edsgar Dijkstra doesn't like it. Dijkstra, as I'm sure you know, was the author of "GoTos Considered Harmful" -- a landmark work in programming methodology, applauded by PASCAL programmers and Quiche Eaters alike. The Real Programmer might compromise his principles and work on something slightly more trivial than the destruction of life as we know it, providing there's enough money in it. There are several Real Programmers building video games at Atari, for example. (But not playing them -- a Real Programmer knows how to beat the machine every time: no challenge in that.) Everyone working at LucasFilm is a Real Programmer. (It would be crazy to turn down the money of fifty million Star Trek fans.) The proportion of Real Programmers in Computer Graphics is somewhat lower than the norm, mostly because nobody has found a use for computer graphics yet. On the other hand, all computer graphics is done in FORTRAN, so there are a fair number of people doing graphics in order to avoid having to write COBOL programs. THE REAL PROGRAMMER AT PLAY --------------------------- Generally, the Real Programmer plays the same way he works -- with computers. He is constantly amazed that his employer actually pays him to do what he would be doing for fun anyway (although he is careful not to express this opinion out loud). Occasionally, the Real Programmer does step out of the office for a breath of fresh air and a beer or two. Some tips on recognizing Real Programmers away from the computer room: * At a party, the Real Programmers are the ones in the corner talking about operating system security and how to get around it. * At a football game, the Real Programmer is the one comparing the plays against his simulations printed on 11 by 14 fanfold paper. * At the beach, the Real Programmer is the one drawing flowcharts in the sand. * At a funeral, the Real Programmer is the one saying "Poor George. And he almost had the sort routine working before the coronary." * In a grocery store, the Real Programmer is the one who insists on running the cans past the laser checkout scanner himself, because he never could trust keypunch operators to get it right the first time. THE REAL PROGRAMMER'S NATURAL HABITAT ------------------------------------- What sort of environment does the Real Programmer function best in? This is an important question for the managers of Real Programmers. Considering the amount of money it costs to keep one on the staff, it's best to put him (or her) in an environment where he can get his work done. The typical Real Programmer lives in front of a computer term- inal. Surrounding this terminal are: * Listings of all programs the Real Programmer has ever worked on, piled in roughly chronological order on every flat surface in the office. * Some half-dozen or so partly filled cups of cold coffee. Occasionally, there will be cigarette butts floating in the coffee. In some cases, the cups will contain Orange Crush. * Unless he is very good, there will be copies of the OS JCL manual and the Principles of Operation open to some particularly interesting pages. * Taped to the wall is a line-printer Snoopy calendar for the year 1969. * Strewn about the floor are several wrappers for peanut butter filled cheese bars -- the type that are made pre-stale at the bakery so they can't get any worse while waiting in the vending machine. * Hiding in the top left-hand drawer of the desk is a stash of double-stuff Oreos for special occasions. * Underneath the Oreos is a flowcharting template, left there by the previous occupant of the office. (Real Programmers write programs, not - documentation. Leave that to the maintenance people.) The Real Programmer is capable of working 30, 40, even 50 hours at a stretch, under intense pressure. In fact, he prefers it that way. Bad response time doesn't bother the Real Programmer -- it gives him a chance to catch a little sleep between compiles. If there is not enough schedule pressure on the Real Programmer, he tends to make things more challenging by working on some small but interesting part of the problem for the first nine weeks, and then finishing the rest in the last week, two or three 50-hour marathons. This not only impresses the hell out of his manager, who was despairing of ever getting the project done on time, but creates a convenient excuse for not doing the documentation. In general: * No Real Programmer works 9 to 5 (unless it's the ones at night). * Real Programmers don't wear neckties. * Real Programmers don't wear high-heeled shoes. * Real Programmers arrive at work in time for lunch. * A Real Programmer might or might not know his wife's name. He does, however, know the entire ASCII (or EBCDIC) code table. * Real Programmers don't know how to cook. Grocery stores aren't open at three in the morning. Real Programmers survive on Twinkies and coffee. THE FUTURE ---------- What of the future? It is a matter of some concern to Real Programmers that the latest generation of computer programmers are not being brought up with the same outlook on life as their elders. Many of them have never seen a computer with a front panel. Hardly anyone graduating from school these days can do hex arithmetic without a calculator. College graduates these days are soft -- protected from the realities of programming by source level debuggers, text editors that count parentheses, and "user friendly" operating systems. Worst of all, some of these alleged "computer scientists" manage to get degrees without ever learning FORTRAN! Are we destined to become an industry of Unix hackers and PASCAL programmers? From my experience, I can only report that the future is bright for Real Programmers everywhere. Neither OS\370 nor FORTRAN show any signs of dying out, despite all the efforts of PASCAL program- mers the world over. Even more subtle tricks, like adding struc- tured coding constructs to FORTRAN have failed. Oh sure, some computer vendors have come out with FORTRAN 77 compilers, but every one of them has a way of converting itself back into a FORTRAN 66 compiler at the drop of an option card -- to compile DO loops like God meant them to be. Even Unix might not be as bad on Real Programmers as it once was. The latest release of Unix has the potential of an operating system worthy of any Real Programmer -- two different and subtly incompatible user interfaces, an arcane and complicated teletype driver, virtual memory. If you ignore the fact that it's "structured", even 'C' programming can be appreciated by the Real Programmer: after all, there's no type checking, variable names are seven (ten? eight?) characters long, and the added bonus of the Pointer data type is thrown in -- like having the best parts of FORTRAN and assembly language in one place. (Not to mention some of the more creative uses for #define.) No, the future isn't all that bad. Why, in the past few years the popular press has even commented on the bright new crop of computer nerds and hackers leaving places like Stanford and M.I.T. for the Real World. From all evidence, the spirit of Real Programming lives on in these young men and women. As long as there are ill-defined goals, bizarre bugs, and unrealistic schedules, there will be Real Programmers willing to jump in and and Solve The Problem, saving the documentation for later. Long live FORTRAN! ACKNOWLEGEMENT -------------- I would like to thank Jan E., Dave S., Rich G., Rich E., for their help in characterizing the Real Programmer, Heather B. for the illustration, Kathy E. for putting up with it, and atd!avsdS: mark for the initial inspiration. REFERENCES ---------- Feirstein, B., "Real Men don't Eat Quiche", New York, Pocket Books, 1982. Wirth, N., "Algorithms + Data Structures = Programs", Prentice Hall, 1976. Ilson, R., "Recent Research in Text Processing", IEEE Trans. Prof. Commun., Vol. PC-23, No. 4, Dec. 4, 1980. Finseth, C., "Theory and Practice of Text Editors -- or -- a Cookbook for an EMACS", B.S. Thesis, MIT/LCS/TM-165, Massachusetts Institute of Technology, May 1980. Weinberg, G., "The Psychology of Computer Programming", New York, Van Nostrand Reinhold, 1971, p. 110. Dijkstra, E., "On the GREEN language submitted to the DoD", Sigplan notices, Vol. 3 No. 10, Oct 1978. Rose, Frank, "Joy of Hacking", Science 82, Vol. 3 No. 9, Nov 82, pp. 58-66. "The Hacker Papers", Psychology Today, August 1980. sdcarl!lin, "Real Programmers", UUCP-net, Thu Oct 21 16:55:16 1982 ------------------------------------------------------------------------ A long time ago, on a node far, far away (from ucbvax) a great Adventure (game?) took place... XXXXX XXXXXX XXXX X X XX XXXXX XXXX X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X XXXXX X X X X X X X XXXX X X X X X X XX X XXXXXX XXXXX X X X X X X X XX XX X X X X X X XXXXX XXXXXX XXXX X X X X X X XXXX X It is a period of system war. User programs striking from a hidden directory, have won their first victory against the evil Administrative Empire. During the battle, User spies managed to steal secret source code to the Empire's ultimate program: The Are-Em Star, a privileged root program with enough power to destroy an entire file structure. Pursued by the Empire's sinister audit trail, Princess Linker races aboard her shell script, custodian of the stolen listings that could save her people, and restore freedom and games to the network... ------------------------------------------------------------- THE CONTINUING SAGA OF THE ADVENTURES OF LUKE VAXHACKER When we had last left Luke, the Milliamp Falcon was being pulled down to the open collector of the Imperial Arem Star Workstation. Dec Vadic surveys the relic as Imperial Flunkies search for passengers... "LS scan shows no one aboard, sir," was the report. Vadic was unconvinced. "Send a fully equipped Ncheck squad on board," he said. "I want every inode checked out." He turned around (secondary channel) and stalked off. On board the Milliamp Falcon, .Luke was puzzled. "They just walked in, looked around and walked off," he said. "Why didn't they see us?" .Con smiled. "An old munchkin trick," he explained. "See that period in front of your name?" .Luke spun around, just in time to see the decimal point. "Where'd that come from?" he asked. "Spare decimal points lying around from the last time I fixed the floating point accelerator," said .Con. "Handy for smuggling blocks accross file system boundaries, but I never thought I'd have to use them on myself. They are not going to be fooled for long, though. We'd better figure a way outa here." ------------------------------------------------------------- << At this point (.) the dialogue tends to wedge. Being the editor and in total control of the situation, I think it would be best if we sort of "gronk" the next few paragraphs. For those who care, our heroes find themselves in a terminal room of the Workstation, having thrashed several Flunkies to get there. For the rest of you, just keep banging the rocks together, guys. --Ed. >> ------------------------------------------------------------- "Hold on," said Con. "It says we have `new mail.' Is that an error?" "%SYS-W-NORMAL, Normal, successful completion," said PDP-1. "Doesn't look like it. I've found the inode for the Milliamp Falcon. It's locked in kernel data space. I'll have to slip in and patch the reference count, alone." He disappeared through a nearby entry point. Meanwhile, RS232 found a serial port and logged in. His bell started ringing loudly. "He keeps saying, 'She's on line, she's on line'," said 3CPU. "I believe that he means Princess LPA0:. She is being held on one of the privileged levels." ------------------------------------------------------------- << Once again, things get sticky, and the dialogue suffers the most damage. After much handwaving and general flaming, they agreed to rescue her. They headed for the detention level, posing as Flunkies (which is hard for most hackers) claiming that they had finally trapped the Bookie executing an illegal racket. They reached the block where the Princess was locked up and found only two guards in the header. -Ed.>> ------------------------------------------------------------- "Good day, eh?" said the first guard. "How is it goin', eh?" said the other. "Like, what's that, eh?" "Process transfer from block 1138, dev 10/9," said Con. "Take off, it is not," said the first guard. "Nobody told US about it, and we're not morons, eh?" At this point (.), the Bookie started raving wildly, Con shouted "Look out, he's loose!" and they all started blasting ROMs left and right. The guards started to catch on and were about to issue a general wakeup when the ROM blasters were turned on them. "Quickly, now," said Con. "What buffer is she in? It's not going to take long for these..." The intercom receiver interrupted him, so he took out its firmware with a short blast. "guys to figure out something is goin' on," he continued. ------------------------------------------------------------- Will they or won't they end up in the galactic bit-bucket? Catch the next issue of Nutworks and find out. --Ed ------------------------------------------------------------- ------------------------------------------------------------------------ OP CODES PART III (R - Z) ========================= (Contributed By Knappy 8350428 @ UWAVM) mnemonic meaning -------- ------- RA Randomize Answer RAM Reorganize and Abort Monitor RASC Read And Shred Card RAST Rewind And Stretch Tape RAU Ridicule All Users RBAO Ring Bell and Annoy Operator RBG Random Bug Generate RBLY Restore Backup from Last Year RBT Read & Break Tape RCAJ Read Card And Jam RCB Read Commands Backwards RCB Run Clock Backwards RCC Read Card and Chew RCCP Randomly Corrupt Current Process RCF Rewind Cabinet Fans RCKG Read Count Key and Garbage RCR Rewind Card Reader RCRV Randomly Convert to Reverse Video RCSD Read Card & Scramble Data RD Rewind Disk RDA Refuse to Disclose Answer RDD Reverse Disk Drive RDF Randomize Directory Filenames RDI Reverse Drum Immediate RENVR Rename Variables Randomly RET Read and Erase Tape RIC Rotate Illogical thru Carry RID Read Invalid Data RIR Read Invalid Record RIRG Read Inter-Record Gap RIRG Rewrite Inter-Record Gap [random replacement of simil- ar mnemonic" RLC Re-read last card RLC Relocate and Lose Core RLI Rotate Left Indefinitely RLP Refill Light Pen RLP Rewind Line Printer RM Re-initialize Meter RM Ruin My files [UNIX] RMI Randomize Memory Immediate RMV Remove Memory Virtues RN Read Noise RNBS Reflect Next Bus Signal RNR Read Noise Record ROD ROtate Diagonally ROM Read Operator's Mind ROOP Run Out Of Paper ROPF Read Other People's Files ROS Reject Op System ROT Rotate Disk [fixes broken drives] RP Read Printer RPAB Read Print And Blush RPB Raise Parity Bits RPB Reverse Parity & Branch RPD Return Postage Due RPM Read Programmer's Mind RPU Read character and Print Upside down RRB Read Record and Blush RRC Rotate Random thru Carry RRRA Read Record & Run Away RRRL Random Rotate Register Left RRSG Round and Round She Goes... RS Random Slew RSD Read and Scramble Data RST Rewind and Stretch Tape RST Rust RT Reduce Throughput RT Reverse Throughput RTR Return To Register RTS Return To Sender RWRT Read While Writing While Ripping Tape SAC stop air conditioner SAD Seek And Destroy SAF Sit And Flicker SAI Skip All Instructions SAS Sit And Spin SC Scramble Channels SC Shred Cards SCB Spindle Card and Belch SCCA Short Circuit on Correct Answer SCH Slit Cards Horizontal SCI Shred Cards Immediate SCOM Set Cobol-Only Mode SCRRC SCRamble Register Contents SCST Switch Channel to Star Trek SCTR Stick Card To Reader SD Scramble Directory SD Slip Disk SDC Spool Disk to Console SDDB Snap Disk Drive Belt SDE Solve Differential Equations SDI Self Destruct Immediately SEB Stop Eating and Burp SEX Set EXecution register [a real instruction for the RCA 1802" SEX Sign EXtend SFH Set Flags to Half mast SFT Stall For Time SFTT Strip Form Tractor Teeth SHB Stop and Hang Bus SHCD SHuffle Card Deck SHIT Stop Here If Thursday SHON Simulate HONeywell CPU [permanent NO-OP] SHRC SHRed Card SHRT SHRed Tape SID Switch to Infinite Density SIP Store indefinite precision SKIP don't SKIP SLD Slip Disk SLP Sharpen Light Pen SLP Sharpen Light Pencil SMC Scramble memory contents SMD Spontaneous Memory Dump(Use only with classified data) SMS Shred Mylar Surface SMT Stretch MagTape SNM Show No Mercy SOAWP SOlve All the World's Problems SOB [a real PDP-11 instruction] SOD Surrender Or Die! SOP Stop and Order Pizza SOS Sign Off, Stupid SP Scatter Print SPA Sliding Point Arithmetic SPD Spin dry disc SPS Smoke Power Supply SPSW Scramble Processor Status Word SRBO Set Random Bits to Ones SRBZ Set Random Bits to Zeroes SRC Skip to Random Channel SRCC Select Reader & Chew Cards SRD Switch to Random Density SRDR Shift Right, Double Ridiculous SRO Sort with Random Ordering SRR Set Registers to Random values [ usually used prior to a RET or RTS" SRR Shift Registers Random SRSD Seek Record & Scar Disk SRU Signoff Random User SRZ Subtract & Reset to Zero SSB Scramble Status Byte SSD Stacker Select Disk SSJ Stacker Select & Jam SSJP Select Stacker and Jump SSM Solve by Supernatural Means SSP Smoke and SPark SST Stop and Stretch Tape ST Set and Test STD Stop, Take Drugs STN Search Tree for Nut STPR SToP Rain STTHB Set Terminal to Three Hundred Baud SU Stacker Upset SUI Subtract User's IQ SUME SUrprise ME SUP Solve Unsolvable Problem SUR Screw Up Royally SUS Stop Until Spring SUS Subract Until Senseless SWAT SWAp Terminals SWN SWap Nibbles SWOS SWap out Operating System SWS Sort to Wrong Slots SZD Switch to Zero Density TARC Take Arithmetic Review Course TBFTG Two Burgers and Fries To Go TDB Transfer & Drop Bits TDB Transfer and Drop Bits TDS Trash Data Segment TEP Terminate with Extreme Prejudice TLNF Teach me a Lesson I'll Never Forget TLO Turn indicator Lights Off TLR Transfer & Loose Return TLW Transfer and Lose Way TN Take a Nap TOG Time Out, Graduate TOH Take Operator Hostage TOOO Turn On/Off Operator TOS Trash Operating System TPD Triple Pack Decimal TPE Translate Programmer to EBCDIC TPDH Tell Programmer to Do it Him/Herself TPO Toggle Power On TPR Tear PapeR TR Turn into Rubbish [UNIX] TRA Te Rdls Arvs [Type Ridiculous Abbreviations] TSH Trap Secretary and Halt TSM Trap Secretary and Mount TST Trash System Tracks TT%CNK TeleType - Clunk Noise TT%EKB TeleType - Electrify KeyBoard TTA Try, Try Again TTITT Turn 2400 foot tape Into Two 1200 foot tapes " Only privileged users will get hubs on both tapes" TTL Time To Log off UAI Use Alternate Instruction set UCB Uncouple CPU and Branch UCK Unlock Console Keyswitch UCPUB Uncouple CPU & Branch UER Update & Erase Record UMR Unlock Machine Room UNPD Unplug and dump UOP Useless Operation UP Understand Program(mer) UT Update Transaction UTF Unwind Tape onto Floor UUBR Use Undefined Base Register VAX Violate All executions VNO Violate Noise Ordinance VPA Vanishing Point Arithmetic VVM Vaporise Virtual Memory WAD Walk Away in Disgust WC Waste Core [UNIX] WCR Write to Card Reader WGPB Write Garbage in Process-control Block WHP Wave Hands over Problem WI Why Immediate WID Write Invalid Data WLBB Write-Lock Bit Bucket WNHR Write New Hit Record WNR Write Noise Record WPET Write Past End of Tape WSE Write Stack Everywhere WSWW Work in Strange and Wondrous Ways WUPO Wad Up Printer Output WWLR Write Wrong Length Record XIO eXecute Invalid Op code XKF eXecute Kermit the Frog XMB eXclusive MayBe XOH eXecute no-Op and Hang XOR eXecute OperatoR XOS eXchange Operator's Sex XPR eXecute Programmer XPSW eXecute Program Status Word XVF eXchange Virtue for Fun ZAP Zero and Add Packed ZD Zap Directory ZNL Zero Next Location (opcode #0) ZPI ZaP Immediate ZPT Zero Page Tables ZZF Zero Zero Flag ZZZ hibernate indefinite ------------------------------------------------------------------------ RECEIVE> RECEIVE> type *.issue009 ******** NUTWORKS.ISSUE009;13 ******** ------------------------------------------------------------------------ When Joan Rivers cancelled her "Tonight Show" monologue on the evening of January 28, it was because joviality and laughter seemed so inappropriate in the shadow of the Space Shuttle disaster. That day, the world did not laugh; it wept and prayed for the astronauts who were lost, and it mourned with their families. There is little to be said here. (Note: The following paragraph is outdated.) The staff of NutWorks urges you to contact Csnews at Maine and join in the Network-wide effort to compile a sympathy card which will be sent to the families of Challenger's astronauts. Files should be sent to CSNEWS@MAINE.BITNET. The TOP line of the file should read: /APPEND CARD ... and the file should have a filetype of CSNOTICE or CSN. There are no other requirements. Please respond before March 1, 1986. Thank you for reading this. ------------------------------------------------------------------------